Having A Bad Day?
THE NEXT TIME YOU THINK YOU ARE HAVING A BAD DAY:
Fire authorities in California found a corpse in a burned out
section of forest while assessing the damage done by a forest
fire. The deceased male was dressed in a full wet suit, complete
with scuba tanks on his back, flippers, and face mask.
A post-mortem revealed that the person died not from burns,
but from massive internal injuries. Dental records provided
a positive identification. Investigators then set about to determine
how a fully clad diver ended up in the middle of a forest fire.
It was revealed that on the day of the fire, the person went
for a diving trip off the coast some 20 miles from the forest.
The fire-fighters, seeking to control the fire as quickly as
possible, called in a fleet of helicopters with very large dip
buckets. Water was dipped from the ocean and then flown to the
forest fire and emptied.
You guessed it.
One minute our diver was making like Flipper in the Pacific,
the next he was doing the breast stroke in a fire dip bucket
300 feet in the air.
Apparently he extinguished exactly 5'10" of the fire.
Some days it just doesn't pay to get out of bed.
This article was taken from the California Examiner,
March 20, 1998
STILL THINK YOU ARE HAVING A BAD DAY?
A man was working on his motorcycle on his patio and his wife
was in the kitchen. The man was racing the engine on the motorcycle
when it accidentally slipped into gear. The man, still holding
onto the handle bars, was dragged through the glass patio doors
and along with the motorcycle dumped onto the floor inside the
house.
The wife, hearing the crash, ran into the dining room and found
her husband lying on the floor, cut and bleeding, the motorcycle
lying next to him, and the shattered patio door. The wife ran
to the phone and summoned the ambulance.
Because they lived on a fairly large hill, the wife went down
the several flights of stairs to the street to escort the paramedics
to her husband. After the ambulance arrived and transported
the man to the hospital, the wife uprighted the motorcycle and
pushed it outside. Seeing that gas was spilled on the floor,
the wife got some paper towels,
blotted up the gasoline, and threw the towels in the toilet.
The man was treated and released to come home.
Upon arriving home, he looked at the shattered patio door and
the damage done to his motorcycle. He became despondent, went
to the bathroom, sat down on the toilet and smoked a cigarette.
After finishing the cigarette, he flipped it between his legs
into the toilet bowl while seated. The wife, who was in the
kitchen, heard the loud explosion and her husband screaming.
She ran into the bathroom and found her husband lying on the
floor. His trousers had been blown away and he was suffering
burns on the buttocks, the back of his legs, and his groin.
The wife again ran to the phone to call the ambulance. The
very same paramedic crew was dispatched and the wife met them
at the street. The paramedics loaded the husband on to the stretcher
and began carrying him to the street.
While they were going down the stairs to the street accompanied
by the wife, one of the paramedics asked the wife how the husband
had burned himself.
She told them and the paramedics started laughing so hard,
one of them slipped and tipped the stretcher, dumping the husband
out. He fell down the remaining stairs and broke his arm.
Taken from a Florida Newspaper.
STILL HAVING A BAD DAY?
Just remember, it could be worse...
- The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon
Valdez oil spill in Alaska was $80,000. At a special ceremony,
two of the most expensively saved animals were released back
into the wild amid cheers and applause from onlookers. A minute
later, in full view, a killer whale ate them both.
- A psychology student in New York rented out her spare room
to a carpenter in order to nag him constantly and study his
reactions. After weeks of needling, he snapped and beat her
with an axe leaving her mentally retarded.
- A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen, shaking
frantically with what looked like a wire running from his
waist towards the electric kettle. Intending to jolt him away
from the deadly current she whacked him with a handy plank
of wood by the back door, breaking his arm in two places.
Until that moment he had been happily listening to his Walkman.
- Two animal rights protesters were protesting at the cruelty
of sending pigs to a slaughterhouse in Bonn Germany. Suddenly
the pigs, all two thousand of them, escaped through a broken
fence and stampeded, trampling the two hapless protesters
to death.
- Iraqi terrorist, Khay Rahnajet, didn't pay enough postage
on a letter bomb. It came back with "return to sender"
stamped on it. Forgetting it was the bomb, he opened it and
was blown to bits.
Your day's not so bad, is it...
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