65 Hilarious Bumper Stickers

  1. Constipated People Don't Give A Shit.
  2. Practice Safe Sex, Go Screw Yourself.
  3. If You Drink, Don't Park. Accidents Cause People.
  4. Who Lit The Fuse On Your Tampon?
  5. If You Don't Believe In Oral Sex, Keep Your Mouth Shut.
  6. Please Tell Your Pants It's Not Polite To Point.
  7. If That Phone Was Up Your Butt, Maybe You Could Drive A Little better
  8. My Kid Got Your Honor Roll Student Pregnant.
  9. Thank You For Pot Smoking.
  10. To All You Virgins: Thanks For Nothing.
  11. If At First You Don't Succeed, Blame Someone Else And Seek counseling !
  12. Impotence: Nature's Way Of Saying "No Hard Feelings".
  13. If You Can Read This, I've Lost My Trailer.
  14. Horn Broken ... Watch For Finger.
  15. It's Not How You Pick Your Nose, But Where You Put The Booger.
  16. If You're Not A Hemorrhoid, Get Off My Ass.
  17. You're Just Jealous Because The Voices Are Talking To Me
  18. The Earth Is Full - Go Home
  19. I Have The Body Of A God ... Buddha
  20. This Would Be Really Funny If It Weren't Happening To Me
  21. So Many Pedestrians - So Little Time
  22. Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult
  23. If We Quit Voting, Will They All Go Away?
  24. The Face Is Familiar, But I Can't Quite Remember My Name
  25. Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway
  26. Illiterate? Write For Help
  27. Honk If Anything Falls Off
  28. Cover Me. I'm Changing Lanes
  29. He Who Hesitates Is Not Only Lost But Miles From The Next exit
  30. I Refuse To Have A Battle Of Wits With An Unarmed Person
  31. You! Out Of The Gene Pool!
  32. I Do Whatever My Rice Krispies Tell Me To
  33. Where Are We Going And Why Am I In This Handbasket?
  34. If Sex Is A Pain In The Ass, Then You're Doing It Wrong...
  35. Fight Crime: Shoot Back!
  36. If You Can Read This Please Flip Me Back Over [Seen upside down on a Jeep)
  37. Remember Folks: Stop Lights Timed For 35 mph Are Also Timed for 70 mph
  38. Guys: No Shirt, No Service - Gals: No Shirt, No Charge
  39. If Walking Is So Good For You, Then Why Does My Mailman Look Like Jabba
    the Hut?
  40. Necrophilia: That Uncontrollable Urge To Crack Open A Cold One.
  41. Ax Me About Ebonics
  42. Body By Nautilus; Brain By Mattel
  43. Boldly Going Nowhere
  44. Cat: The Other White Meat
  45. Caution - Driver Legally Blonde
  46. Don't Be Sexist - Bitches Hate That
  47. Heart Attacks ... God's Revenge For Eating His Animal Friends.
  48. Honk If You've Never Seen An Uzi Fired From A Car Window
  49. How Many Roads Must A Man Travel Down Before He Admits He is lost?
  50. If You Can't Dazzle Them With Brilliance, Riddle Them With Bullets.
  51. Money Isn't Everything, But It Sure Keeps The Kids In Touch
  52. Saw It ... Wanted It ... Had A Fit . Got It!
  53. My Hockey Mom Can Beat Up Your Soccer Mom.
  54. GROW YOUR OWN DOPE --- PLANT A MAN.
  55. All Men Are Animals, Some Just Make Better Pets.
  56. Some people are alive only because it is illegal to shoot them
  57. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
  58. WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.
  59. BEER: It's not just for breakfast anymore.
  60. So you're a feminist...Isn't that precious .
  61. I need someone really bad...Are you really bad?
  62. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder

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