Why DID The Chicken Cross The Road?
Several people have several different answers...
KINDERGARTEN TEACHER: To get to the other side.
PLATO: For the greater good.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross roads.
KARL MARX: It was a historical inevitability.
TIMOTHY LEARY: Because that's the only trip the establishment
would let it take.
SADDAM HUSSEIN: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion
and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas
on it.
RONALD REAGAN: I forget.
CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken
has gone before.
HIPPOCRATES: Because of an excess of phlegm in its pancreas.
ANDERSEN CONSULTING: Deregulation of the chicken's side
of the road was threatening its dominant market position. The
chicken was faced with significant challenges to create and
develop the competencies required for the newly competitive
market. Andersen Consulting, in a partnering relationship with
the client, helped the chicken by rethinking its
physical distribution strategy and implementation processes.
Using the Poultry Integration Model (PIM), Andersen helped the
chicken use its skills, methodologies, knowledge, capital and
experiences to align the chicken's people, processes and technology
in support of its overall strategy within a Program Management
framework. Andersen Consulting convened a diverse cross-spectrum
of road analysts and best chickens along with Anderson
consultants with deep skills in the transportation industry
to engage in a two-day itinerary of meetings in order to leverage
their personal knowledge capital, both tacit and explicit, and
to enable them to synergize with each other in order to achieve
the implicit goals of delivering and successfully architecting
and implementing an enterprise-wide value framework across the
continuum of poultry cross-median processes. The meeting was
held in a park-like setting, enabling and creating an impactful
environment which was
strategically based, industry-focused, and built upon a consistent,
clear, and unified market message and aligned with the chicken's
mission, vision, and core values. This was conducive towards
the creation of a total business integration solution. Andersen
Consulting helped the chicken change to become more successful.
LOUIS FARRAKHAN: The road,you see, represents the black
man. The chicken 'crossed' the black man in order to trample
him and keep him down.
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.: I envision a world where all
chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives
called into question.
MOSES: And God came down from the Heavens, and He said
unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And
the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.
FOX MULDER: You saw it cross the road with your own
eyes. How many more chickens have to cross the road before you
believe it?
RICHARD M. NIXON: The chicken did not cross the road.
I repeat, the chicken did NOT cross the road.
MACHIAVELLI: The point is that the chicken crossed the
road. Who cares why? The end of crossing the road justifies
whatever motive there was.
JERRY SEINFELD: Why does anyone cross a road? I mean,
why doesn't anyone ever think to ask, What the heck was this
chicken doing walking around all over the place, anyway?"
FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the
chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
BILL GATES: I have just released the new Chicken Office
2000, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file
your important documents, and balance your checkbook.
OLIVER STONE: The question is not, "Why did the
chicken cross the road?" Rather, it is, "Who was crossing
the road at the same time, whom we overlooked in our haste to
observe the chicken crossing?"
DARWIN: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been
naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically
disposed to cross roads.
EINSTEIN: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the
road moved beneath the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.
BUDDHA: Asking this question denies your own chicken
nature.
RALPH WALDO EMERSON: The chicken did not cross the road
.. it transcended it.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain.
COLONEL SANDERS: I missed one?
CLINTON : I did not, and I repeat, I did not have sexual
relations with the chicken.
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