Chinese Torture
A young man is wandering lost in a forest when he comes upon
a small house. He knocks on the door and is greeted by an old
Chinese man with a long grey beard.
"I'm lost," said the man, "Can you put me up
for the night?"
"Certainly", the Chinese man said, "but one
condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter I will
inflict upon you the three worst Chinese tortures known to man."
The man agreed, thinking that the daughter must be pretty old
as well, and entered the house.
Over dinner the daughter came down the stairs. She was young,
beautiful and had a fantastic body. She was obviously attracted
to the young man as well, as she couldn't keep her eyes off
of him during the meal.
Remembering the old man's warning he ignored her and went up
to bed alone.
During the night he could bear it no longer and snuck into
her room for a night of passion. Near dawn, he quietly crept
back to his room so the old man wouldn't hear, exhausted but
happy.
He woke to feel a pressure on his chest. Opening his eyes he
saw a large rock on his chest with a note on it that read: Chinese
Torture 1: Large rock on chest.
Well, that's easy, he thought. "If that's the best the
old man can do then I don't have much to worry about."
He picked the boulder up, walked over to the window and threw
it out.
As he did so, he noticed another note on it that read: Chinese
Torture 2: Rock tied to left testicle.
In a panic he glanced down and saw the rope that was already
getting close to taut. Figuring that a few broken bones was
better than castration he jumped out of the window after the
boulder.
As he plummeted toward the ground he saw a large sign on the
ground that read: Chinese Turture 3: Right testicle tied
to bed post.
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