Computer Advances in Medical Science
One day a guy ran into a friend who complained of his elbow
really hurting.
"I guess I should see a doctor."
His friend said, "Don't do that. There's a computer at
the drug store that can diagnose your problem. It's quicker
and cheaper than a doctor. Simply put in a sample of your urine,
and the computer will diagnose it - and it only costs ten bucks."
The figures he has nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with
a urine sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer,
he poured in his sample and deposited the ten bucks. The computer
started making some noises and various lights started flashing.
Then out popped a small slip of paper which read, -
YOU HAVE TENNIS ELBOW. SOAK YOUR ARM IN WARM WATER. AVOID HEAVY
LABOR. IT WILL BE BETTER IN TWO WEEKS.
That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology
was and how it would change medical science forever, he began
to wonder if this computer could be fooled.
He decided to give it a try. He mixed together some tap water,
a stool sample from his dog, and urine samples from his wife
and daughter. To top it off he masturbated into the concoction.
He went back to the drugstore, located the computer, poured
in the sample and deposited ten bucks.
The machine made the usual noises, flashed lights and printed
the following analysis:
YOUR TAP WATER IS TOO HARD. GET A WATER SOFTENER
YOUR DOG HAS RINGWORM. BATHE HIM IN ANTIFUNGAL SHAMPOO.
YOUR DAUGHTER IS USING COCAINE. PUT HER IN A REHABILITATION
CLINIC.
YOUR WIFE IS PREGNANT. TWIN GIRLS. NOT YOURS. GET A LAWYER.
AND IF YOU DON'T STOP PLAYING WITH YOURSELF, YOUR ELBOW WILL
NEVER GET BETTER.
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