If You Are From NJ:
- You watched "Mallrats" and said, "I've been
to that mall!"
- At least half the people you knew in high school went to
Rutgers.
- You know where Jimmy Hoffa is buried.
- Your big class trip in elementary school was to Morristown.
- You long for the days when the Devils wore Christmas colors.
- You know that the only people that call it "Joisey"
are from New York.
- You've planned a local trip around ensuring you pass at
least one dunkin' donuts.
- You don't think of citrus when people mention "The
Oranges".
- You know that it's called "Great Adventure"...
NOT Six Flags (Dammit!).
- You know that there are bakeries which are not part of a
supermarket, but actual individual stores.
- You've ordered a "hard roll with butter" for breakfast.
- One time, a sea gull shit on your head.
- You've eaten at a diner, drunk off your ass, at 3am at least
a dozen times.
- At least three people in your family still love Bruce Springsteen.
- You always use a minimum of 10 variations of the word "Damn"
while driving.
- You don't have to go to Red Lobster for fresh sea food.
- You once said, "It smells like New York, in here."
- You can go bowling at 1:30 A.M. (with Automatic Scoring)
- In high school, you worked at a Friendly's
- The Garden State Parkway doesn't freak you out at night.
- You know what a "jug handle" is.
- You have mandatory recycling enforced by Law.
- You've eaten a pork roll with cheese on a hard roll... and
liked it.
- You've pondered, "Maybe basketball in NJ would be more
popular if the Nets didn't blow."
- You say "water" weird. (Wadder, Cawfee, Dowg,
Wadever)
- Even your school made good Italian subs.
- You've lived through hurricanes, noreasters, and fires,
but have never seen a tornado or earthquake.
- You can't believe that MTV went to Seaside Heights.
- You know that ACME is an actual store, not just a Warner
Bros creation.
- You only go to New York City on day trips.
- You've run out of money on the Parkway.
- You're Italian.
- You know where to get the best bagels.
- You think the Olive Garden is crap and should never have
opened restaurants in New Jersey.
- There are no self service gas stations and you like it that
freakin' way.
- You've had sex on the beach, and I'm not talking about the
drink.
- You know how to successfully handle a traffic circle.
- The Jets/Giants games have started fights at our school
and/or your local bar.
- Your car is covered in yellow green dust every April and
May.
- You can't understand why there aren't more 24-hour diners
elsewhere in the country.
- You live within 45 minutes of 3 different malls.
- Someone at the beach once called you a "benny".
- You've seen and/or been in a fight between a Rangers and
a Devils' fan.
- You have or know someone with MAFIA connections, too.
- You're related to someone who thinks the new York Jets should
be called the New Jersey Jets.
- You have at least one friend that drives a truck.
- You've been camping.
- You've been in a town or city where Spanish is spoken more
than English.
- You've been to a party in the woods.
- You've purchased fireworks in Chinatown.
- You like the Jets even before this season.
- You know where to get a freshly cooked Taylor Ham, Egg and
Cheese sandwich at 2am.
- You don't take shit from no one either.
- You remember Action park and may have been seriously injured
there.
- At some time you got on the wrong highway trying to get
out of Willowbrook Mall.
- Z-100 used to be your favorite radio station.
- Anything less than three inches of snow, aint shit.
- Someone cut you off on the road and you told them to go
f$@*k themselves.
- You think people from South Jersey talk funny.
- You're radioactive and proud of it.
- You've known the way to Seaside Heights since you were seven.
- Whenever you park, there's a Camaro within three spots
of you.
- You remember that the "Two Guys" were from Harrison.
- You know that the state isn't one big oil refinery.
- You know that a WaWa is a convenience store.
- You know that the state isn't all farmland.
- You know that there are no "beaches" in new Jersey
- there's "The Shore," and you know that the road
to the shore is "The Parkway" not "The Garden
State Highway."
- You know that "Piney" isn't referring to a tree.
- You remember the song from the Palisades Park commercials.
- You know how to properly negotiate a Circle.
- You knew that the last question had to do with driving.
- You know that this is the only "New..." state
that doesn't require "New"
to identify it (like, try ...Mexico, ...York, ...Hampshire
(doesn't work, does
it?).
- You know how to translate this conversation: "Jeet
yet?" "No, Jew?"
- You know that a "White Castle" is the name of
BOTH a fast food chain AND a
fast food sandwich.
- You consider a corned beef sandwich with lettuce and mayo
a sacrilege.
- In the 80's you wore your hair REALLY high.
- You don't think "What exit" (do you live near?)
is very funny.
- You know that the real first "strip shopping center"
in the country is
Route 22.
- You know that people from 609 area code are "a little
different."
- You know that no respectable New Jerseyan goes to Princeton
- that's for
out-of-staters.
- You can see the Manhattan skyline from some part of your
town.
- You refer to all highways and interstates by their numbers.
- Every year, you had at least one kid in your class named
Tony.
- You know where every "clip" shown in the Sopranos
opening credits is.
- You've gotten on the wrong highway trying to get out of
Willowbrook Mall.
- You've eaten a Boardwalk cheesesteak with vinegar fries.
- You have a favorite Atlantic City casino.
- You start planning for Memorial Day weekend in February.
- Your town is full of garage sale signs
- There are more Italians immigrating in than New York in
the 1920's
- You will take any road, ANY road, other than route 9
- You skip school to go to the beach
- The field you grew up playing in is now under development
- The corn from down the street can't be beat
- You spend more time at the Freehold mall than you do at
home
- You can't stand the Colts Neck, spoiled losers
- There are more Jews here than Jerusalem 5 years before
Christ
- No matter where other people are from, if they aren't from
California, Florida, New York, or Jersey, they are hicks
- Pennsylvania is another world
- You think there's no better shore than the Jersey shore
- The summers are always great
- You know that Jersey Freeze is the best place for ice cream
- Everyone makes fun of how your state smells, yet all your
trash goes to their state (cough cough PA cough cough)
- Just after they are finished building a school, another
one is in the works,
or there are trailers erected for the dumb kids
- You are sick of seeing Italian flag reflectors on cars
- You remember Q104.3 and you know K-ROCK turned more commercial
than MTV
- The "Goonies" touches home to your childhood
- You are on the front line of the war with the Mets and
Yankees, Jets and Giants, and Rangers and Devils
- Every driveway has a basketball net
- Every other house has a pool
- You remember when 9 and 33 by the mall used to be a circle
- Cops have nothing better to do then sit in speed traps
all day
- You see five cops on your way to the convenience store
- You remember the riots of the Freehold Mall
- You remember that asshole that killed a kid and gave the
Smashing Pumpkins a bad name
- Wawa is your home away from home
- You worked for a telemarketer
- When you go to the shore, you need to buy salt water taffy
and fudge
- You stay away from Asbury Park unless you are going to
the Stone Pony
- You stay far, far away from Ocean Grove
- You drive around looking for ghosts
- You know what I'm talking about when I say "Devils
Door"
- You've driven to gravity hill
- Your area code keeps changing
- You are tired of seeing Stumpy's Yamaha commercials
- You STILL can't understand what the guy from the Tire Farm
commercials is saying.
- You wonder when route 33 is going to be done
- Your local police department is a joke
- You've never gone to a New Jersey Nets game
- You know how pathetic the Lakewood Blue Claws are
- You know what handball is
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