Give Us O Lord Our Daily....
While on a business trip to Rome, the CEO of Tyson foods manages
to be granted an audience with the Pope at the Vatican.
After receiving the papal blessing, he whispers to the Holy
Father, "Your eminence, we have an offer for you. Tyson
Foods is prepared to donate $100 million to the church if you
change the Lord's Prayer from 'give us this day our daily bread'
to 'give us this day our daily chicken.'"
The Pope responds. "That's impossible. The Prayer is the
word of the Lord. It must not be changed as stated in the scriptures."
"Well," says that Tyson man, " we anticipated
your reluctance. For this reason, we will increase our offer
to $300 million. All we require is that you change the Lord's
Prayer from 'give us this day our daily bread' to 'give us this
day our daily chicken.'"
Again, the Pope replies, "That, my son, is impossible.
As I have said this prayer represents
the immutable word of God and it cannot be changed under any
circumstance, no matter how good it may appear."
Finally, the Tyson guy says, "Your Holiness, we at Tyson
Food respect your adherence to your faith, but we do have one
final offer. We will donate $500 million, that's half a billion
dollars -- to the great Catholic Church if you would only change
the Lord's Prayer from 'give us this day our daily bread' to
'give us this day our daily chicken.' Please consider it."
And he leaves.
The next day the Pope convenes the College of Cardinals. "There
is some good news," he announced, "and some bad news.
The good news is that the Church as come into $500 million."
"And the bad news, your eminence?" asks a Cardinal.
The Pope replies, "We're losing the Wonder Bread account."
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