2003 Darwin Award Winners
All of these cases are strong arguments on why Darwin's theory
of evolution may have been wrong.
When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended
victim during a holdup in Long Beach, California, would be robber
James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He
peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again.
This time it worked.....
And now, the honorable mentions.
The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat
cutting machine and, after a little hopping around, submitted
a claim to his insurance company. The company, suspecting negligence,
sent out one of its men to have a look for himself.
He tried the machine and lost a finger. The chef's claim was
approved.
A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his
car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to
find a woman had taken the space.
Understandably, he shot her.
After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus
driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to
be transporting from Harare to Bulaweyo had escaped. Not wanting
to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop
and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered
the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that
the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies.
The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.
A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the
counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash
drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the
register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the
cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter.
The total amount of cash he got from the drawer...$15.
(If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime
committed?)
A thief burst into a Florida bank one day wearing a ski mask
and carrying a gun. Aiming his gun at the guard, the thief yelled,
"FREEZE, MOTHER-STICKERS, THIS IS A ****-UP!"
For a moment, everyone was silent. Then the snickers started.
The security guard completely lost it and doubled over laughing.
It probably saved his life, because he'd been about to draw
his gun. He couldn't have drawn and fired before the thief got
him. The thief ran away and is still at large.
In memory of the event, the banker later put a plaque on the
wall engraved with the words, "Freeze, mother-stickers,
this is a ****-up!"
Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided
that he'd just throw a cinderblock through a liquor store window,
grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinderblock and heaved
it over his head at the window. The cinderblock bounced back
and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious.
The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event
was caught on videotape.
As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a
man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately,
and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of
the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher.
They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief
was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a
positive ID.
To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's
the lady I stole the purse from."
The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked
into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 a.m., flashed
a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because
he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order.
When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't
available for breakfast.
The man, frustrated, walked away.
A 5-STAR DARWIN AWARD WINNER!
When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked
on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for.
Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up
next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman
said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged
his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake.
The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying
that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.
|
