Seven Signs That You May Already Be DEAD
(These were shamelessly stolen from RottenCat - whom I'm sure won't mind the honor - You can find more of his stuff at his site. Give him a visit, I'm sure he won't mind the traffic. - Vikar)
- If you find yourself lying face up on a golf course in a thunderstorm and can't seem to feel the rain hitting you, you may already be dead.
- If a priest is waving an incense burner all around you but you can't seem to smell the smoke, you may already be dead.
- If friends and relatives keep walking past you saying things like "doesn't he look natural" or "they really made him look good", or "he sure looks like himself", you may already be dead.
- If there's a large portrait of you on the wall, surrounded by a wide black border, you may already be dead.
- If there's a flower in your hand but you don't seem to be able to bring it to your nose for a sniff, you may already be dead.
- If your wife and kids are fighting over possessions you treasured, like your collection of Miles Davis records, you may already be dead.
- If you seem to have great trouble remembering the previous six signs, you probably are already dead. See your doctor at once!
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