A Woman Stopped For Speeding...
Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.
Woman: Oh, I see.
Officer: Can I see your license please?
Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.
Officer: Don't have one?
Woman: Lost it 4 times for drunk driving.
Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration
papers please.
Woman: I can't do that.
Officer: Why not?
Woman: I stole this car.
Officer: Stole it?
Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
Officer: You what?
Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk
if you want to see.
The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his
car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle
the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping
his half drawn gun.
Officer2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please!
The woman steps out of her vehicle.
Woman: Is there a problem sir?
Officer2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen
this car and murdered the owner.
Woman: Murdered the owner?
Officer2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car,
please.
The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty
trunk.
Officer2: Is this your car, ma'am?
Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.
The officer is quite stunned.
Officer2: One of my officers claims that you do not have
a driving license.
The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse
and hands it to the officer. The officer snaps opens the clutch
purse and examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.
Officer2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you
didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you
murdered and hacked up the owner.
Woman: Bet you the lying bastard told you I was speeding,
too!
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