A Child's Point of View
SAFETY ~ I was driving with my three young children one warm
summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood
up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the
shock, I heard my five-year-old shout from the back seat, "Mom!
That lady isn't wearing a seat belt!"
***
SCHOOL ~ On the first day of school, a first grader handed
his teacher a note from his mother. The note read, "The
opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of
his parents."
***
PHONE ~ A woman was trying hard to get the catsup to come out
of the bottle. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked
her four-year old daughter to answer the phone. "It's the
minister, Mommy," the child said to her mother. Then she
added, "Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right
now. She's hitting the bottle."
***
MODESTY ~ A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself
in the women's locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst
into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover.
The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, "What's
the matter haven't you ever seen a little boy before?"
***
ELDERLY ~ While working for an organization that delivers lunches
to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my four-year-old daughter
on my afternoon rounds. She was unfailingly intrigued by the
various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers
and wheelchairs. One day I found her staring at a pair of false
teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable
barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, "The
tooth fairy will never believe this!"
***
DRESS UP ~ A little girl was watching her parents dress for
a party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned,
"Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit."
"And why not, darling?"
"You know that it always gives you a headache next morning."
***
DEATH ~ While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church,
our minister heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made
his collar wilt. Apparently, his five-year-old son and his playmates
had found a dead robin. Feeling that proper burial should be
performed, they had secured a small box and cotton batting,
then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased.
The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers
and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought
his father always said: "Glory be unto the Faaaather....
and unto the Sonnn..... and into the hole he gooooes."
***
SCHOOL ~ A little girl had just finished her first week of
school. "I'm just wasting my time," she said to her
mother. "I can't read, I can't write and they won't let
me talk!"
***
BIBLE ~ A little boy opened the big family bible. He was fascinated
as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell
out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it.
What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between
the pages. "Mama, look what I found", the boy called
out. "What have you got there, dear"? With astonishment
in the young boy's voice, he answered, "I think it's Adam's
underwear.
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