Computer Haikus
In Japan, they have replaced the impersonal and unhelpful Microsoft
error messages with Haiku poetry messages.
Haiku poetry has strict construction rules - each poem has
only 17 syllables; 5 syllables in the first, 7 in the second,
5 in the third. They are used to communicate a timeless message,
often achieving a wistful, yearning and powerful insight through
extreme brevity. Here are some actual error messages from Japan.
Aren't these better than "your computer has performed
an illegal operation?"
- The Web site you seek
Cannot be located, but
Countless more exist.
- Chaos reigns within.
Reflect, repent, and reboot.
Order shall return.
- Program aborting
Close all that you have worked on.
You ask far too much.
- Windows NT crashed.
I am the Blue Screen of Death.
No one hears your screams.
- Yesterday it worked.
Today it is not working.
Windows is like that.
- Your file was so big.
It might be very useful.
But now it is gone.
- Stay the patient course.
Of little worth is your ire.
The network is down.
- A crash reduces
Your expensive computer
To a simple stone.
- Three things are certain
Death, taxes and lost data.
Guess which has occurred.
- You step in the stream,
But the water has moved on.
This page is not here.
- Out of memory.
We wish to hold the whole sky,
But we never will.
- Having been erased,
The document you're seeking
Must now be retyped.
- Serious error.
All shortcuts have disappeared.
Screen. Mind. Both are blank.
- Aborted effort.
Close all that you have worked on.
You ask far too much.
- I ate your Web page.
Forgive me; it was tasty
And tart on my tongue
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