Following Dr. Laura's Advice...
My lovely wife sent this to me. In light of how Dr. Laura
Schlessinger is making great friends with the homosexual community,
you may wish to check this for ammo. She apparently deems Leviticus
a source of valuable and topical modern standard of living.
Remember that the next time you have pork spare ribs. - Vikar
Background: "Doctor" Laura Schlessinger
is a US radio personality who dispenses advice to people who
call in to her radio show. Recently, she said that as an observent
orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus
18:22 and cannot be condoned in any circumstance. The following
is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned by a US resident, which
was posted on the internet.
Dear Dr. Laura:
Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's
Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and I try to
share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone
tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply
remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an
abomination.
End of debate.
I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of
the specific laws and how to follow them:
- When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know
it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord (Lev. 1:19). The problem
is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them.
Should I smite them?
- I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned
in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would
be a fair price for her?
- I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while
she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness (Lev. 15:19-24).
The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most
women take offense.
- Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both
male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring
nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans,
but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?
- I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath.
Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I
morally obligated to kill him myself?
- A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish
is an abomination (Lev. 11:10), it is a lesser abomination
than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?
- Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of
God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I
wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20 or is
there some wiggle room here?
- Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including
the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly
forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?
- I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead
pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear
gloves?
- My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting
two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by
wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester
blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it
really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting
the whole town together to stone them? (Lev. 24: 10-16) Couldn't
we just burn them to death at a private family affair like
we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)
I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident
you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word
is eternal and unchanging.
Your devoted disciple and adoring fan.
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