Effective Outsourcing
Congress today announced that the Office of the President of
the United States will be outsourced to overseas as of September
30. The move is being made to save $400K a year in salary, a
record $521 billion in deficit expenditures, and related overhead.
Exporting American jobs has been a popular trend lately, ironically
at the urging of President Bush.
Mr. Bush was informed by email this morning of the termination
of his position. He will receive health coverage, expenses and
salary until his final day of employment. After that, following
a two-week waiting period, he will then be eligible for $240
a week from unemployment insurance for 13 weeks. Unfortunately
he will not be able to receive state Medicaid health insurance
coverage as his unemployment benefits are over the required
limit. "I'm in shock," Mr. Bush stated. "I thought
for sure I'd have some job security around this here place.
I have no idea what I'll do now," he further lamented.
Unbeknownst to Mr. Bush, preparations have been underway for
some time for the job move.
Sanji Gurvinder Singh of Indus Teleservices, Mumbai, India,
will be assuming the Office of the President of the United States
as of October 1. Mr. Singh was born in the United States while
his parents were here on student visas thus making him eligible
for the position. He will receive a salary of $320 USD a month
but will have no health coverage or other benefits.
Due to the time difference between the US and India, Mr. Singh
will be working primarily at night when offices of the US Government
will be open. Congress stressed patience when calling Mr. Singh
as he may not be fully aware of all the issues involved with
his new position. A Congressional spokesperson noted that Mr.
Singh was given a script tree to follow which will allow him
to respond to most topics of concern. The spokesperson further
noted that additional savings will be realized as these scripting
tools have already been previously used by Mr. Bush. Such scripts
will enable Mr. Singh to provide an answer without having to
fully understand the issue itself.
Congress continues to explore other outsourcing possibilities
including that of Vice President and most Cabinet positions.
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