Female Terminology
Here is some instruction on how to understand the women in
your life. Pay attention!
Words Women Use:
FINE
This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel
they are right and you need to shut up. Never use "Fine"
to describe how a woman looks - this will can use you to have
one of those arguments.
FIVE MINUTES
This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that
your football game is going to last before you take out the
trash, so it's an even trade.
NOTHING
This means "something," and you should be on your
toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling
a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down,
and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument
that will last "Five Minutes"
and end with "Fine."
GO AHEAD
At some point in the near future, you are going to be in some
mighty big trouble.
GO AHEAD (With Raised Eyebrows)
This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset
over NOTHING and end up with the word
"Fine."
GO AHEAD (Normal Eyebrows)
This means "I give up" or "do what you want because
I don't care." You will get a "Raised
Eyebrow Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by
"Nothing" and "Fine"
and she will talk to you in about "Five
Minutes" when she cools off.
LOUD SIGH
This is not actually a word, but is a nonverbal statement often
misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks
you are an idiot at that moment and wonders why she is wasting
her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing."
SOFT SIGH
Again, not a word, but a nonverbal statement. "Soft Sighs"
mean that she is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe,
and she will stay content.
THAT'S OKAY
This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can
make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants
to think long and hard before paying you back for whatever it
is that you have or have not done. "That's Okay" is
often used with the word "Fine"
and in conjunction with a "Raised
Eyebrow."
PLEASE DO
This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you
the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have
for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair
chance with the truth, so be careful and you shouldn't get a
"That's Okay."
THANKS
A woman is thanking you. Do not faint. Just say "you're
welcome."
THANKS A LOT
This is much different from "Thanks."
A woman will say, "Thanks A Lot" when she is really
ticked off at you. It signifies that you have offended her in
some callous way and will be followed by the "Loud
Sigh." Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the
"Loud Sigh," as she will only
tell you "Nothing."
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