A Letter of Concern
It is important for men to remember that as women grow older
it becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping
as they did when they were younger. When men notice this, they
should try not to criticize.
Let me relate how I handle the situation. When I got laid off
from my consulting job and took "early retirement"
in April, it became necessary for Nancy to get a full-time job,
both for extra income and for the health benefits that we need.
It was shortly after she started working that I noticed that
she was beginning to show her age.
I usually get home from fishing or hunting about the same time
she gets home from work. Although she knows how hungry I am,
she almost always says that she has to rest for half an hour
or so before she starts supper. I try not to complain, instead
I tell her to take her time and just wake me when she finally
does get supper on the table.
She used to do the dishes as soon as we finished eating. It
is now not unusual for them to sit on the table for several
hours after supper. I do what I can by reminding her several
times each evening that they aren't cleaning themselves. I know
she appreciates this advice, as it does seem to help her get
them done before she goes to bed.
Now that she is older she seems to get tired so much more quickly.
Our washer and dryer are in the basement. Sometimes she says
she just can't make another trip down those steps. I don't make
a big issue of this. As long as she finishes up the laundry
by the next evening I am willing to overlook it. Not only that
but unless I need something ironed to wear to the Monday lodge
meeting or to Wednesday's or Saturday's poker club or to Tuesday's
or Thursday's bowling or something like that, I will tell her
to wait until the next evening to do the ironing. This gives
her a little more time to do some of those odds and ends things
like shampooing the dog, vacuuming or dusting. Also, if I have
a really good day of fishing, this allows her to gut and scale
the fish at a more leisurely pace.
Nancy is starting to complain a little occasionally. For example,
she will say that it is difficult for her to find time to pay
the monthly bills during her lunch break. In spite of her complaining,
I continue to try to offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch
it out over two or even three days. That way she won't have
to rush so much. I also remind her that missing lunch completely
now and then wouldn't hurt her any, if you know what I mean.
When doing simple jobs she seems to think she needs more rest
periods. She had to take a break when she was only half finished
mowing the yard.
I try to be supportive when she needs these little extra rest
breaks. I tell her to fix herself a nice, big, cold glass of
freshly squeezed lemonade and just sit for a while. I tell her
that as long as she is making one for herself, she may as well
make one for me and take her break by the hammock so she can
talk with me until I fall asleep. I know that I probably look
like a saint in the way I support Nancy on a daily basis. I'm
not saying that the ability to show this much consideration
is easy. Many men will find it difficult. Some will find it
impossible. No one knows better than I do how frustrating women
can become as they get older.
However, guys, even if you just yell at your wife a little
less often because of this article, I will consider that writing
it was worthwhile.
Signed,
Bob
NOTE: Bob's funeral was on Saturday, January 25th.
Nancy was acquitted on Monday, January 27th.
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