Momma Always Said...

• My Mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE - "If you are going to kill each other, do it outside because I just finished cleaning."
  
  
• My Mother taught me RELIGION - "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
  
  
• My Mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL - "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week."
  
  
• My Mother taught me LOGIC 101- "Because I said so, that's why."
  
  
• My Mother taught me LOGIC 102 - "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you are not going to the store with me."
  
  
• My Mother taught me FORESIGHT - "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you are in an accident."
  
  
• My Mother taught me IRONY - "Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."
  
  
• My Mother taught me about OSMOSIS - "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
  
  
• My Mother taught me about CONTORTIONIST - "Will you 'look' at the dirt on the back of your neck."
  
  
• My Mother taught me about STAMINA - "You will sit there 'till all that spinach is finished."
  
  
• My Mother taught me about WEATHER - "It looks as if a tornado swept through your room."
  
  
• My Mother taught me how to solve PHYSICS PROBLEMS - "If I yelled because I saw a meteor coming toward you; would you listen THEN?"
  
  
• My Mother taught me about HYPOCRISY - "If I've told you once, I've told you a million times - Don't Exaggerate."
  
  
• My Mother taught me THE CIRCLE OF LIFE - "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
  
  
• My Mother taught me about ENVY - "There are million of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."
  
  
• My Mother taught me about ANTICIPATION - "Just wait until we get home."
  
  
• My Mother taught me about RECEIVING - "You are going to get it when we get home."
  
  
• My Mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE - "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."
  
  
• My Mother taught me to THINK AHEAD - "If you don't pass your spelling test, you will never get a good job."
  
  
• My Mother taught me ESP - "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
  
  
• My Mother taught me HUMOR - "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
  
  
• My Mother taught me about GENETICS - "You are just like your Father."
  
  
• My Mother taught me about my ROOTS - "Do you think you were born in a barn."
  
  
• My Mother taught me about WISDOM OF AGE - "When you get to be my age, you will understand."
  
  
• And my all time favorite that my Mother taught me was JUSTICE - "One day you will have kids....and I hope they all turn out just like you."
  

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