Obituary of the Pillsbury Doughboy
 Please
join me in remembering a great icon. Veteran Pillsbury spokesperson,
The Pillsbury Doughboy, died yesterday of a severe yeast infection
and complications from repeated pokes to the belly. He was 71.
Doughboy was buried in a slightly greased coffin. Dozens of
celebrities turned out, including Mrs. Butterworth, the California
Raisins, Hungry Jack, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, Captain
Crunch and many others.
The graveside was piled high with flours as long-time friend,
Aunt Jemima, delivered the eulogy, describing Doughboy as a
man who "never knew how much he was kneaded."
Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life
was filled with many turnovers. He was not considered a very
smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes.
Despite being a little flaky at times, even as a crusty old
man, he was still considered a roll model for millions.
Toward the end it was thought he'd raise once again, but he
was no tart.
Doughboy is survived by his second wife, Play Dough. They have
two children and one in the oven. The funeral was held at 3:50
for about 20 minutes
|
