Raising Sheep the Hard Way
A Welsh man buys several sheep, hoping to breed them for wool.
After several weeks, he notices that none of the sheep are
getting pregnant, and phones a vet for help.
The vet tells him that he should try artificial insemination.
The farmer doesn't have the slightest idea what this means
but, not wanting to display his ignorance, only asks the vet
how he will know when the sheep are pregnant. The vet tells
him that they will stop standing around and instead will lie
down and wallow in grass when they are pregnant.
The man hangs up and gives it some thought. He comes to the
conclusion that artificial insemination means he has to impregnate
the sheep himself. So, he loads the sheep into his Land Rover,
drives them out into the woods, has sex with them all, brings
them back, and goes to bed.
Next morning, he wakes and looks out at the sheep. Seeing that
they are all still standing around, he deduces that the first
try didn't take, and loads them in the Land Rover again. He
drives them out to the woods, bangs each sheep twice for good
measure, brings them back, and goes to bed exhausted.
Next morning, he wakes to find the sheep still just standing
round. Try again. he tells himself, and proceeds to load them
up, and drive them out to the woods. He spends all day shagging
the sheep and upon returning home, falls listlessly into bed.
The next morning, he cannot even raise himself from the bed
to look out of the window. He asks his wife to look, and tell
him if the sheep are lying in the grass.
"No", she says, "they're all in the Land Rover,
and one of them is beeping the horn"
|
