Real Complaints
The following are genuine clips from Council complaint letters:
- My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back
passage has fungus growing in it.
- He has this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and
I just can't take it anymore.
- It's the dogs mess that I find hard to swallow.
- I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired
and burnt my knob off.
- I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle very badly
when he put his foot in the hole in his back passage.
- And their 18 year old son is continually banging his balls
against my fence.
- I wish to report that tiles are missing from the outside
toilet roof. I think it was a bad wind the other night that
blew them off.
- My lavatory seat is cracked, where do I stand?
- I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is coming away
from the wall.
- Will you please send someone to mend the garden path. My
wife tripped and fell on it yesterday and now she's pregnant.
- I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen.
- 50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster and
50% are plain filthy.
- I am still having problems with smoke in my new drawers.
- The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until
it is cleared.
- Will you please send a man to look at my water, it is a
funny colour and not fit to drink.
- Our lavatory has broken in half and is now in three pieces.
- I want to complain about the farmer across the road, every
morning at 6:AM his c*ck wakes me up and it's now getting
to much for me.
- The man next door has a large erection in the back garden,
which is unsightly and dangerous.
- Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two children and would
like a third so please send someone round to do something
about it.
- I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would
you please do something about the noise made by the man on
top of me every night.
- Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job
and satisfy my wife.
- I have had a clerk of works down on the floor six times
but I still have no satisfaction.
- This is to let you know that our lavatory seat is broke
and we can't get SABC2.
|
