The Soviet Weather Service at Christmas Time
It was a miserable Christmas Eve.
My wife and I sat home and did not know whether or not any
of our guests would make it for our holiday party. It was cold
and nasty and there was a hint of precipitation in the air.
We weren't sure if we should stock up more on our wine and food
for the party because the last weather report from the New York
New Bureau said that it was going to snow hard - perhaps even
blizzard conditions.
My wife said, "Dear, we have to know how much more stuff
we need to get for the party. I have enough wine and food for
10 people right now but if it doesn't snow, so many more could
arrive."
"I know", I said. "Well, I may have to call
the absolute authority on weather. I figure if I can contact
the Soviet Weather Service, they'll tell me if we may get snow
or just rain."
I e-mailed the Soviet Weather Service and got the following
reply.
"The weather forecast for the New York area for December
24th to December 25 shows clouds with plenty of warm precipitation.
There is a 99% probability of showers. Snow is unlikely. - Sincerely
yours, Rudolph Vladimirov"
I said to my wife, "There you see? I think you can go
out food shopping and get some more stuff. It's not going to
snow. It's going to rain. I know it now for a fact!"
"How can you be so sure?"
"Well," I said. "Rudolph, the red, knows
rain, Dear."
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