Things That iPod Just Won't Do.
I came across this one day while at work.
As it was a news article at the time, I figured that someone would eventually archive this and it would be lost for all time.
Being an iPod owner now (30 gigabyte player. If you can afford it, get one. Back up everything on an external hard drive and pack your CD's up into storage forever), I have now become one of the latest in obnoxious people who constantly wear headphones.
For your entertainment, here are a few things that iPod won't engrave on your unit. (No, this is not urban myth, either. This is true. Red asterisks (*) were definitely turned down.- Vikar):
- 10,000 Stolen Tunes Inside *
- Not to be used as a suppository. *~Umbralkin
- I cost more than three hookers. *~Umbralkin
- When my battery dies, so will you. *~Umbralkin
- Not responsible for prolonged damage to the ear & brain. *
- iPod Limited Edition: Retard Compatible. *~Jimmy4Kim
- Rip, Mix, & Burn Do wn RIAA Headquarters *
- Cocaine and razor blade not included. *~ Carl
- Lick My Shiny Metal Ass *
- Karma is a bitch *
- Bad Mother Fucker * (settled with "Bad Mother Fucka) ~Ben
- Something small & white that Enrique Eglasias Isn't In. * ~wiredgargoyle
- I play with myself. * ~ leonardom
- Steal this? Will self destruct when used. *
- iMasturbate five times a day *~rjones
- F uck Osama. *
- Screwing The RIAA One Download At A Time *~Mike P.
- I cost more per ounce than cocaine. *~dgcole
- This iPod will self destruct in 1 year. *~dale
- Practice safe sex... Go FU*K yourself! *~whocares590
- Controls on reverse side, you STUPID FCUK! *~Christiaan
Yeah, that's cool but get this, the following were not rejected.
- "One time at band camp." ~ JLOVE
- 49 20 66 75 63 6b 69 6e 67 72 75 6c 65 ~TehSnarf
(translation: I fucking rule in HEX)
- I don't need good taste, I've got selection. ~Umbralkin
- Kiss me, I've got Irish music. ~Umbralkin
- "To all the Chinese children who made my iPod, Thanks!" ~ Plaid Speed
- George Bush Hates Black People ~ Kayne West
- fatti i cazzi tuoi ( Mind your own f-ing business ) ~ gatherings
- I Don't Do Windows
- Trapped in iPod factory. Please send help ~ Pheenix
- Me vs. RIAA: Exhibit A ~ ukealii50
- My other iPod is a Millenium Falcon ~ commongiga
- Steal At Your Own Risk. Bomb Installed ~ Nick A.
- Tom Cruise is a couch humping homo
- Mic0s0f7 5ux a$$
- I may be small and white but at least I've got a big disk! ~ Jesse S.
- Don't fsck with me or: $find / -name u | /dev/null
- Scratch your balls, not my metal.
- Who said Apple sucks? ~Jaeboy
- Save water, drink beer and shower together ~ Jquinn825
- Now you have two little white pocket rockets.
- People will pay more to be entertained than educated. ~DulceDLeche16
- WARNING: Contains Yanni Box Set
- 10,000 reasons to ignore my wife
- If only women's buttons were this easy to push.
- This iPod makes up for my small hard disk.
- Once you go small and white...
- 98% Liberace -free
- Harmful If Swallowed
- Dear [insert name], Thanks for the iPod idea. Steve Jobs ~ IFC1
- I'm so trendy look at my white headphones! ~sjs
- Size Does Matter
- Musically Disturbed ~ Joe F.
- Weapons of Mass Distraction Inside ~wiredgargoyle
- Contents Under Pressure fr om RIAA ~wiredgargoyle
- My other handheld is a PocketPC ~vostinar
- CDs are for amish people! ~ mustachioman
- Quarter free jukebox ~ mustachioman
- FCUK WINDOWS ~ lancew
- Why drink and drive, When you can smoke and fly. ~ tipx
- I last 8 hrs. You last 2 minutes. Who's the man?
- My iPod can beat up your honor roll student
- Your mamma uses a walkman.
- "Say hello to my little friend" ~ iiikora
- FCUK THE SHUFFLE, WTF I Ordered a 60 Gigger! ~ dilpreet64
These were found off of methodshop.com.
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