Making Marriage Last
My wife and I have the secret to making a marriage last:
- Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little
wine, some good food and good companionship. She goes Tuesdays,
I go Fridays.
- We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in Florida and
mine is in Wisconsin
- I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way
back.
- I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary.
"Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.
So I suggested the kitchen.
- We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
- She has an electric blender, electric toaster, and electric
bread maker. Then she said, "There are too many gadgets,
and no place to sit down!" So I bought her an electric
chair.
- My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there
was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was, she
told me, "In the lake."
- She got a mud pack and looked great for two days. Then
the mud fell off.
- Remember.... Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.
Statistically, 100% of all divorces started with marriage.
- I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name
was Always.
- I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months. I don't like
to interrupt her.
- The last fight was my fault. My wife asked, "What's
on the TV?"... I said, 'Dust!"
- In the beginning, God created earth and rested. Then God
created man and rested. Then God created woman. Since then,
neither God nor man has rested.
- Why do men die before their wives? Cause they want to.
- A beggar walked up to my wife shopping on Canal Street
and said "I haven't eaten anything in four days."
She looked at him and said, "I wish I had your willpower.
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