New Employee Rules (As Per MSF Guidelines)
- Sick Days:
- We will no longer accept a doctor statment as proof of sickness.
If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come
to work.
- Surgery:
- Operations are now banned. As long as you are an employee
here, you need all your organs. You shold not consider removing
anything. We hired you intact. to have something removed constitutes
a breach of employment
- Personal Days:
- Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They
are called Saturday & Sunday.
- Vacation Days:
- All employees will take their vacation at the same time
every year. the vacation days are as follows: Jan 1st, July
4th, and December 25th.
- Rest Room Use:
- Entirely too much time is being spent in the restroom. In
the futre, we will follow the practice of going in alphabetical
order. For instance, all employees whose names begin with
an "A" will go from 8:AM - 8:20, employees whose
names begin with "B" will go from 8:20 - 8:40 and
so on. If you are unable to go at your allotted time, it will
be necessary to wait until the next day when your turn comes
again. In extreme emergenceis employees may swap their time
with a co-worker. Both employees' supervisors in writing must
approve this exchange. In addtion, there is now a strict 3
minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes,
an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, and
the stall door will open.
- Lunch Break:
- Skinny people get an hour for lunch as they need to eat
more so than they can look healthy, normal sized people 30
minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain there
average figure. Fat people get 5 minutes for lunch because
that all the time needed to drink a slim fast & take a
diet pill.
- Dress Code:
- It is advised that you come to work dressed according to
your salary. If we see you wearing $350 Prada sneakers &
carrying a $600 Gucci bag, we assume you are doing well financially
and therefore you do not need a raise.
Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide
a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions,
comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations,
insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternations,
or input should be directed elsewhere.
Have a nice week and thank you for making our company one of
the best places to work.
Management
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