Normisms

The writers of the television show "Cheers" always had an opening line for Norm. Here is what I was able to get off of the web on those classic lines.

• "Can I draw you a beer, Norm?"
  "No, I know what they look like. Just pour me one."
  
  
  
• "How about a beer, Norm?"
  "Hey I'm high on life, Coach. Of course, beer is my life."
  
  
  
• "How's a beer sound, Norm?"
  "I dunno. I usually finish them before they get a word in."
  
  
  
• "What's up, Norm?"
  "Corners of my mouth, Coach."
  
  
  
• "What's shaking, Norm?"
  "All four cheeks and a couple of chins, Coach."
  
  
  
• "Beer, Normie?"
  "Uh, Coach, I dunno, I had one this week. Eh, why not, I'm still
  young."
  
  
  
• "Normie, Normie, could this be Vera?"
  "With a lot of expensive surgery, maybe."
  
  
  
• "What's up, Normie?"
  "The temperature under my collar, Coach."
  
  
  
• "What would you say to a nice beer, Normie?"
  "Going down?"
  
  
  
• "What's up Mr. Peterson?"
  "The warranty on my liver."
  
  
  
• "What's up, Norm?"
  "Everything that's supposed to be."
  
  
  
• "What's new, Normie?"
  "Terrorists, Sam. They've taken over my stomach. They're demanding
  beer."
  
  
  
• "What'll it be, Normie?"
  "Just the usual Coach. I'll have a froth of beer and a snorkel."
  
  
  
• "What would you say to a beer, Normie?"
  "Daddy wuvs you."
  
  
  
• "What'd you like, Normie?"
  "A reason to live. Gimme another beer."
  
  
  
• "What will you have, Norm?"
  "Well, I'm in a gambling mood, Sammy. I'll take a glass of whatever
  comes out of that tap."
  "Oh, looks like beer, Norm."
  "Call me Mister Lucky."
  
  
  
• "What do you say, Norm?"
  "Any cheap, tawdry thing that'll get me a beer."
  
  
  
• "What do you say to a beer, Normie?"
  "Hiya, sailor. New in town?"
  
  
  
• "Whaddya say, Norm?"
  "Well, I never met a beer I didn't drink. And down it goes."
  
  
  
• "What's your pleasure, Mr. Peterson?"
  "Boxer shorts and loose shoes. But I'll settle for a beer."
  
  
  
• "Hey Norm, how's the world been treating you?"
  "Like a baby treats a diaper."
  
  
  
• "Would you like a beer, Mr. Peterson?"
  "No, I'd like a dead cat in a glass."
  
  
  
• "How's life treating you?"
  "It's not, Sammy, but you can!"
  
  
  
• "Can I pour you a draft, Mr. Peterson?"
  "A little early, isn't it Woody?"
  "For a beer?"
  "No, for stupid questions."
  
  
  
• "What's the story, Mr. Peterson?"
  "The Bobbsey twins go to the brewery. Let's cut to the happy ending."
  
  
  
• "Hey, Mr. Peterson, there's a cold one waiting for you."
  "I know, and if she calls, I'm not here."
  
  
  
• "Beer, Norm?"
  "Have I gotten that predictable? Good."
  
  
  
• "What's going on, Mr. Peterson?"
  "A flashing sign in my gut that says, 'Insert beer here.'"
  
  
  
• "Hey, Mr. Peterson, Jack Frost nipping at your nose?"
  "Yep, now let's get Joe Beer nipping at my liver, huh?"
  
  
  
• "What's going on, Mr. Peterson?"
  "Another layer for the winter, Wood."
  
  
  
• "Whatcha up to Norm?"
  "My ideal weight if I were eleven feet tall."
  
  
  
• "How's it going, Mr. Peterson?"
  "Poor."
  "I'm sorry to hear that."
  "No, I mean pour."
  
  
  
• "How's life treating you, Norm?"
  "Like it caught me sleeping with its' wife."
  
  
  
• "Women. Can't live with 'em, pass the beer nuts."
  
  
  
• "What's going down, Normie?"
  "My butt cheeks on that bar stool."
  
  
  
• "How's life in the fast lane?"
  "Dunno, can't get on the on-ramp."
  
  
  
• "Pour you a beer, Mr. Peterson."
  "Alright, but stop me at one.... make that one-thirty."
  
  
  
• "How's it going Mr. Peterson?"
  "It's a dog eat dog world, Woody, and I'm wearing Milk-Bone underwear!"
  
  
  
• "What's the story, Norm?"
  "Boy meets beer. Boy drinks beer. Boy meets another beer."
  
  
  
• "How about a beer, Norm?"
  "That's that amber sudsy stuff, right? I've heard good things about it!"
  
  
  
• "What's going on, Mr. Peterson?"
  "The question is what's going in Mr. Peterson. A beer please, Woody."
  
  
  
• "What's up, Normie?"
  "My nipples, it's freezing out there."

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