1001 Uses For A Pumpkin... Now, 1002
A true story gone urban myth:
In summary, the police arrested Patrick Lawrence, a 22-year-old
white male, resident of Dacula, GA, in a pumpkin patch at 11:38
p.m. on Friday. Lawrence will be charged with lewd and lascivious
behavior, public intoxication at the Gwinnett County courthouse
on Monday. The suspect explained that as he was passing a pumpkin
patch he decided to stop.
"You know, a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there
was no one around here for miles. At least I thought there wasn't,"
he stated in a phone interview. Lawrence went on to say that
he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin
that he felt was appropriate to his purposes, cut a hole in
it, and proceeded to satisfy his need. "I guess I was just
really into it you know?" he commented with evident embarrassment.
In the process, Lawrence apparently failed to notice a Gwinnett
police car approaching and was unaware of his audience until
officer Brenda Taylor approached him. "It was an unusual
situation, that's for sure," said officer Taylor. "I
walked up to Lawrence and he's...just working away at this pumpkin."
Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached
Lawrence."I just went up and said, 'Excuse me sir, but
do you realize that you are screwing a pumpkin?'
"He froze, and was clearly very surprised that I was there,
and then he looked me straight in the face and said, "A
pumpkin? Damn...is it midnight already?"
|
