Did you ever notice that they put those little warnings on chilis, salsas, and most spice products? It's a Heat index. For your convenience, I have created a rant index to let you know what you are in for.

The index is as follows:

Mild

Perturbed

Annoyed

Really
Pissed

Full Rant


RANT - RERANT
From Mr. Wizard & Vikar

This is a new feature that will feature a RANT - RERANT or in most cases a point/point view from both Mr. Wizard and myself. Either he'll find something within the news and I'll comment on it and either he'll support it or give the other side (or vice versa). Here are some of our common rants:
  • Reasons to switch to Verizon Wireless.
  • Kittens from around the world (and why we love them).
  • The care and maintenance of a Care Bear.
  • Reasons to switch to Verizon Wireless.
  • The Afghanistan Ethic Appreciation Club.
  • Naked Osama bin Laden teen heartthrob pictures.
  • Tips on handling cholicy babies.
  • How to get underarm stains out of a garment.
  • The 10 most effective ways of praying.
  • Time savers in the beauty parlor.
  • Reasons to switch to Verizon Wireless.
  • Casper the Friendly Ghost and Richie Rich Trivia (ohGodnoplease.)
  • Reasons to do ANYTHING with Verizon.
  • Reasons why a 56K modem is better than a cable modem.
This site is listed on HumorLinks.com. Support my site and rate it!


Here are couple of rants and/or essays that are sort of boiling on the back burner and I'm going to get around to writing about.

At least that's just me. This does not mean that people like Mr. Wizard, Feathers, or Embersummerhawk won't have anything to say in the meantime.

This is what you eventually have to look forward to:

  • George W. Bush - A Child Playing with Dad's Gun

  • SUV's II - Electric Boogaloo

  • Cellphones II - No more Mr. Nice Guy

  • Customer Service Phone Menus

  • Recycling

  • Soccer Moms

  • The Church - Saving Souls or Investing in Real Estate?

  • Bad Management! (Look what you did on the floor!)

  • Hispanics - Still a Minority?

  • Jim McGreevey - Getting More and More McGreedier

  • Mike Bloomberg: A 1970's New York Renaissance Mayor (More Muggings, Less Police, Higher Taxes..)

  • Starting Over (Working Out)

  • Condo Associations

  • English: Abused and Misspoken Phrases

  • My Writing Style

  • Fat People Who Blame Society for Their Size

Assholes and Opinions - Everybody's got one. I'm no different.

I find that as I get older, I get less and less tolerant of much of the daily idiocy that goes on around me. Some say that this is a bad thing. Some say that I'm whining and that if I really wanted to make a difference I would take some action against whatever is ticking me off.

I say the first step to resolving a problem is to recognize it.

Perhaps, if I rant and rave long enough, maybe someone will read my words and say that I have a point. Maybe, I might make a difference in someone's life and have them recognize that what they are doing is wrong.

In any event, here is the latest of my rants.
  1. Faith based initiatives. (Government sponsored religion? I don't think so. The last time government and religion were combined people got burned at the stake or hung for witchcraft.)
  2. Insects mixing with Buddhists. One won't kill the other and one is really annoying.
  3. Offshoring to 3rd world counties. You'd think we didn't have poor in our own country.
  4. Pointless Corporate Reorganizations.
  5. Biblical Creationist supporters. (Believe what you want. We'll see whose right and whose insane... eventually.)
  6. Bible literalists (7 days to create the universe... riiiiight.)
  7. My new name for SUV's - GGB's. That's short for Gas Guzzling Behemoths. These cars are for people who don't remember the red flag/green flag days and odd/even licence plate days at the gas pump during the 70's.
  8. Micromanagers. You know who you are.
  9. People who refer to the internet as "the internets" (plural). If you can't say it, don't use it.
  10. Mullets.
  11. Kids that use the internet for homework. (Hey! I wasn't even allowed to use a calculator for math. You have to know how to do something the hard way before you take the short cut.).
  12. George W. Bush - A president who lost the popular vote and has made this country less safe than pre-911 New York.
  13. People who insist on being an escalator speedbump - It's a staircase that moves! Don't block people who insist on climbing it!
  14. The stiflingly annoying and unfunny "comedian" Mario Cantone. A man who is just unwatchable in any medium. If Jerry Lewis were gay and unfunny it would be him.
  15. TNN - "The First Network for Men". What a crock of shit! Tell me - Why does "The first network for men" have almost nothing but commercials for Secret antiperspirant (strong enough for a man but made for a woman), Oil of Olay (for women), and Herbal Essense Shampoo (targeted to women). Plus, does TNN take all men to be a bunch of NASCAR watching, crotch scratching, James Bond loving, Coors drinking rednecks? I, personally, am insulted.
  16. Customer Service Phone Menus without the option of speaking to an operator.
  17. Heartburn due to agitation.
  18. Out of touch CEO's
  19. Christians who insist on sharing their religion with me. Did it ever occur to you that I might think you're an idiot? Sharing your beliefs with me may just confirm the fact.
  20. The Trinity Broadcast Network - Think Billy Solesti with a satelite network. Get your hip boots out. It's high and deep.
  21. Companys that outsource to third world countries.
  22. Baby Showers
  23. Legal Monopololies and their service quality.
  24. Bus Passengers that think they are entitled to two seats. (Buddy, you only paid for one.)
  25. Cablevision's view of the YES network. (Why torture innocent Yankee fans when they are forced to use your company? It took them one season and the New York Attorney General to sort it out.)
  26. Christian fundamentalists that burn Harry Potter books.
  27. Idiots who blame their obesity on McDonald's because there was no warning stating that "Fast food is fattening and can cause high blood pressure and obesity." (What next? Fried pork rinds? Give me a break!)
  28. Brokers.
  29. People who believe that deodorant is for other people.
  30. Traders.
  31. Mall Lines at Christmas
  32. Mothers that change diapers in restaurants and food court tables. (Sure, no smoking allowed, but baby shit!!?? How about a plate full?)
  33. Mayor Bloomberg and his nazi anti smoking agenda.
  34. Funeral opportunists (ie - people who lay claim to a person's belongings before they are deceased)
  35. Extreme Right Wings
  36. Extreme Left Wings
  37. Minivans and SUV's that take 4 parking spaces at a shopping mall.
  38. Clueless Management who look at bottom line and not talent.
  39. Obese people who claim they are physically challenged.
  40. People who are ignorant of things before 1980.
  41. Asskissers
  42. Narrow-minded Christian Fundementalists
  43. Mayor Bloomberg who will smoke a joint but not a cigarette.
  44. Mall Customers at Christmas
  45. Dog beaters
  46. Drivers that "discover" their cars once a week and decide to drive them leaving regular drivers to put up with their stupidity.
  47. SUV's not used during snow storms because their drivers are afraid to use them.
  48. Soccer Moms
  49. Women who give birth and decide they are now the center of the universe.
  50. People who don't read the news.
  51. Televised liberal media.
  52. Brainwashing
  53. Unnecessary government interference.
  54. Banning toy guns.
  55. Mothers that think their kids should wear bubblewrap clothes.
  56. The MTA Union - who insists on 8% raises in salary every year when the private sector goes years without one for 4%.
  57. Mayor Bloomberg and his proposed solution to the transit strike - RIDE BIKES AND HITCH WITH STRANGERS FOR A LIFT. (IN NEW YORK?!!! IN DECEMBER??!!, DURING THE CHRISTMAS SHOPPING SEASON?!!! when the wind comes down the Hudson at Arctic temperatures to freeze the stoutest of hearts. PLUS - You must have, at least 4 people in your car to drive in the city during the strike. Idiot. I hope he has a coronary ten seconds after his first pedal push.)
  58. People who smoke and use their cellphone while driving a stickshift.
  59. People who believe that dogs are edible.
  60. People who get their current events from Saturday Night Live.
  61. Everything Governor Jim McGreevey says or does.
  62. People who say, "It sounded like your idea but I said it with more feeling and with my hands."
  63. The Anti "Under God" camp - You know who you are.
  64. People who take up more than their allocated seat dimensions on public transportation
  65. People who sweat profusely in the summer and don't wear a t-shirt, allowing us to bear witness to their unfortunate biological gift.
  66. Lawyers.
  67. People who feel it is their right to use the world as their ash tray.
  68. People who feel it is their right to use the world as a trash receptacle.
  69. People who complain when you park in front of their house, on a public street, in a legal, public parking space, because "You're parking in my spot." "Your spot?" "Yeah, my spot." "How is it your spot?" "It's in front of my house." They obviously don't realize the meaning of property lines.
  70. Upper management and golden parachutes.
  71. On hands management with simple chronic halitosis.
  72. Labor unions (reward for complacency, reward for doing exactly the same as everyone else and not a smidge better, or punish those who work too hard and achieve better than others).
  73. Drunken milkmen driving drunk.
  74. People who complain that a stamp is too expensive. (Where else can you send something 3,000 miles for less than the price of a pack of Trident?)
  75. People who forget to walk when they get to the top of an escalator.
  76. People who walk around New York without a clue.
  77. The Homeless who mark their territory in New York by peeing on parking meters
  78. People who drive slower than the speed limit but insist on driving in front of you.
  79. Taking credit for other people's work.
  80. Baby strollers in malls.
  81. Baby strollers in restaurants.
  82. Cell Phones on buses and restaurants.
  83. People who think I'm East Indian.
  84. People who got ahead by minority quotas and are proud of it.
  85. Stupid rich people.
  86. Stupid poor people.
  87. Stupid middle class people.
  88. Stupid people.
  89. People who end their sentences with the word, "yo".
  90. People who start their sentences with the word, "yo".
  91. Mike Bloomberg's proposed Commuter Tax. (Taxation without representation - We went to war over that.)
  92. Mike Bloomberg's citywide policy of "drink inside" and "smoke outside". Why can't I do both in the same place?
  93. Mike Bloomberg - Reefer is okay, but cigarettes are bad.
  94. Newscasters that highlight the deaths of children in any disaster. "3,000 death occurred in the fire, 2 of which were children." (When did adults stop being important.)
  95. Everything Governor Jim McGreevey says or does (intentionally mentioned twice).
  96. Bleeding Hearts.
  97. The new generation of Anti-war protestors.
  98. People who chew with their mouths open.
  99. People who chew gum on the phone.
  100. Lazy people.