"There's an old saying in Tennessee-I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee-that says, fool me once, shame on-shame on you. Fool me-you can't get fooled again."
- President George W. Bush, Nashville, Tenn., Sept. 17, 2002

"It’s absolutely essential that eight weeks from today, on Nov. 2, we make the right choice, because if we make the wrong choice then the danger is that we’ll get hit again and we’ll be hit in a way that will be devastating from the standpoint of the United States.”
- Vice President Dick Cheney

"Planet Claire has pink air. All the trees are red. No one ever dies there. No one has a head."
- The B52's, She Came From Planet Claire

"Can't you see this is the last act of a desperate man?"
"We don't care if it's the first act of Henry the Fifth."
- Sheriff Bart to Howard Johnson in Blazing Saddles

"SOYLENT GREEN IS PEOPLE!!!!"
- Charleton Heston

November 1st, 2004

You are being manipulated.

I'm sorry to be the first one to tell you this, but it's true. Today is the Monday before Election Day 2004 and before Friday the polls (if you put any credit in that crap) showed Kerry and Bush neck and neck. However, Friday, "suddenly", a bin Laden tape was released to the media. The polls among undecided voters went in favor of Bush six points. Bin Laden's reappearance is playing into the dozen or so reasons on why I think Bush should never be elected president (And I mean never as he wasn't elected the first time around).

Just this last week I've noticed that New York is, once again, back up to an orange alert. Remember, in this case, "orange" isn't a happy color. And just like Pavlovian Dogs, the country gets nervous that another terror attack is about to happen. For the last three years, the Bush Administration has made a pet project in making the general public into quivering pieces of jello. It is painfully apparent this trick has worked well in the past, if the polls are any indication of the public's insane hysteria, and is continuing to work now.

I predicted this event about two years ago.

I said to anyone who would listen, "Do you know what's going to happen? About two weeks before the election, the military is going to find bin Laden. Then the Bush bandwagon is going to ride on the 'We caught bin Laden - just like we promised to!' wave." Well, the Bush party isn't doing exactly that, they are doing one better. They are reminding the populace that bin Laden is still out there and HE'S GONNA GIT YA!

The Republicans, seeing that Kerry really has a very good chance at beating the incumbent, have lost their last iota of dignity and have fallen back on the concept of "The Boogie Man". When I was growing up, older kids and adults used the concept of the boogie man on little kids.

"If you don't eat your broccoli, the boogie man will GIT YA!"
"If you walk home at night through the woods, the boogie man will GIT YA!"
"If you don't use a condom...." Well, that's different. That's you making your own monster.

Well, instead of the boogie man, the current administration is using bin Laden.

Once again, bin Laden's reappearance was just to let you know a couple of things. Number 1 was that good ol Osama is alive and well. He's tan, rested, and ready to make more mischief. Personally, I believe that US intelligence has had this tape for a while and the Bush Administration was just waiting for the proper moment to let us know. Like just before the election. This is the threat that a change in management at this critical juncture will KILL YOU. The Bush Team, as demonstrated by VP Cheney, lives to keep the public in a great state of paranoia.

You remember what Cheney said only a few months ago, right?

"If we don't make the right choice come November, we'll be attacked." HE SAID THAT!!! The right choice, in his mind, was to choose the right wing. What else could he possibly mean? That the Bush Administration is NOT the right choice? That, we just better be sure that Kerry is the right choice because if he isn't then we will all die? Please don't tell me that the Bush Administration isn't using the terror attacks to manipulate the public. It's really all they have. The debates essentially showed that the right choice was Kerry and not the dumbass with the audio feed running down his jacket.

I also find it very interesting that the Republicans may be using fear tactics when one of the deciding swing states is New Jersey. You know, New Jersey, the one terrorized state that President Bush paid the least amount of attention to after the 9-11 attack. The commuters that take the Holland and Lincoln tunnels who were in the most amount of danger who through lack of concern were pretty much let go to "suck it up". New York City may have been the place of attack but many of the victims were from New Jersey and many of the people who still go through the day to day risks of coming to New York are from New Jersey.

So, speaking as a New Jerseyan, I cordially invite the "too little, too late" concern of the Republicans to perform a specific anatomical impossibility. I hope they limber up first.

A second reason is if he catches bin Laden, his approval ratings will go through the roof. Well, that will be for everyone but me, I guess. My take on this is that if he is able to get bin Laden now, he could have had him anytime. He could have had him last year or maybe,... just maybe..., the Bush Administration has already caught bin Laden and will make it look like another "Mission Accomplished".

I find it interesting how the media has broken it down, though. The media (specifically WCBS radio) reports that bin Laden's most recent television appearance has helped cement the foundation of decided voters. Those who are for Bush believe that he is right for pursuing the war. Those who are for Kerry are now more firmly convinced that Bush is a screw up for not bringing in the head of bin Laden (dead or alive as Marshall Bush put it).

But all of this is just me being a conspiracy theorist. I have many theories that carry no weight at all. For example, I believe that the rock band, the B52's, were secretly sending messages to the Soviet Union during the cold war. Can there be any other reason for the line, "Hippy, hippy, forward, hippy, hippy, hippy, hippy, hippy, shake!"? Or why does Planet Claire have pink air, and why are all the trees red? Maybe when the Russians translate that it's a key code for "The missiles are in Newark." Hmmmmmmm.

You don't have to follow what I say, but it's food for thought at any rate. All I'm saying is that I have little patience for this kind of tom foolery. Mr. Bush can't fool me again. He won't hook me in with his lies about an Iraq/Al Qaida alliance. Nor will he buy me with his non existent weapons of mass destruction (WMD for those who are hep to the jive). He will certainly not get me with his "preemptive strike" strategy nor get me by saying that Iraq has "nookler" weapons, either.

I would just love to have the majority of people out there to see Bush as I see him - As an incompetent. He failed to do anything about the imminent danger the US is currently in. His homeland security plans are a cruel and unfunny joke. Plus his plans for the elderly and social security are no less than the plot of Soylent Green. After going from a surplus economy of $200 billion to a debt of $200 billion with a war that costs $1 billion a week, it keeps me awake at night knowing that my plans for retirement may never come to pass. And I deserve to be pissed because I've been paying into social security for my entire life and there will be nothing for me by the time I'm ready to retire. Or worse, there will only be something provided I can work until I'm 70.

So, if indeed the Republicans are using the media to bring bin Laden into the picture again to use to their advantage, I'm hoping that you guys out there don't let it influence you to vote for a party that not only failed to capture a direct threat to the people of the US but decided to waste taxpayer money by going after a country that had nothing to do with it.

Don't be fooled. Vote smart. Vote tomorrow.