Day 17 - The Inevitible Boredom

"Feelin' fine."
- Homer Simpson's typewritten message from Treehouse of Horror: The Shinning (The spoof on "The Shining").

"What do you think of my work, Marge? No beer and no TV make Homer something something."
"Go crazy?"
"Don't mind if I do! ARRRRGGHHHHHH!!!!!"
- Homer Simpson to Marge Simpson from Treehouse of Horror: The Shinning (The spoof on "The Shining").

June 17th, 2004

Okay, while I seem to be halucinating... it is good wholesome family entertainment and it really should not be missed.

It is June 17th and I'm really starting to feel pull of the television - if for nothing else, for just something to do. That blank faced siryn waits and pulls with the force of an army promising me cool shows watched and unwatched. I had not anticipated the complete and total lack of hobbies and a social life to be a large stumbling block. However, when I removed the time consuming activity of television watching... well, I really should have planned it out better than I did.

My buddy, Brian, wrote to me after reading the first part of this rant and tried to cheer me up.
Here's the letter:

DUDE!

You and I are definitely in sync here!

But I've been reducing the number of hours I watch TV because TV has forced me to! For me, for a while, the only things worth watching were: 24 (three seasons of one of the BEST shows ever made. I made a point NEVER to miss a second. If you haven't seen it, rent the DVD's!), Keen Eddie (this is a clever, amusing crime drama about a NYPD cop transplanted in London. Excellent), and the last Frasier (I will miss David Angell). 24 is over, Keen Eddie is nowhere to be found, and Frasier has had its series finale.

What CAN I watch????!!!

Today's sitcoms are the worst tripe ever foisted upon mankind! The plots have been rehashed and refried to the point of ad nauseum. Let me guess, is it about some working class slob married to a clever wife who'll withhold the lovin' if his antics are found out?

The jokes are so obvious I can see them 10 minutes ahead of time, and they're not funny. They're made for IDIOTS! Remember Home Improvement? That was the most popular show in the U.S.? Figures!

What are the others? Cop, lawyer, or hospital dramas. Definitely beginning bottom feeding. "Reality" shows? Sorry, I can't get into them. The only one I did was the first Amazing Race. It was made EXTREMELY exciting by the fact that a good buddy of mine was a contestant. He and his buddy from the show are getting a show of their own.

Well, I have found myself watching a whole lotta NOTHIN' lately and, like you, the guilt is rising in the back of my brain like vomit from my spleen.

I don't know if I'll swear off, but I will commit to being more productive

He means well. He really does. And I appreciate it. It's great having him as a comerade in arms. But to me, it's like showing me a White Castle burger when I've been on a month long hunger fast.

As Pink Floyd has said in The Wall - How will I fill the empty spaces? How will I complete the wall? It's now having an over abundance of time that's the problem and having a definite need to unwind. It's almost impossible to differentiate from television withdrawral. An inevitable caveat has been to not drive everyone around me nuts. If my wife lets me live to the end of the month, I'll know where I stand on television.*

On the up side, I've been reading more. Which for the most part is good. I've killed 3 books so far with one on the way. Two of them were even entertaining. The first book was one on the fundementals of Buddhism (plus a quickie - the Nobel prize winning Siddartha). That was interesting and most likely the birthplace of the idea of giving up TV. Okay, fair enough. Two and a half weeks of no TV (special exception of Reagan's Funeral).

The second book was the autobiography of Jack Welch (Jack: Straight from the Gut). This was purely for motivation and management lessons. If you work for a large corporation like I do and want to get a snapshot of an executive's mind, I recommend you reading that. It's a good story with good pointers.

The third book, which I've found to be the most useful is called Driven to Distraction. It's about adult attention deficit disorder. It is a condition I believe I've grown up with and has spurred me onto seeking help to combat it (however, I'm only going to do this after I've confirmed it with a doctor. The doctor who self examines has a fool for a patient.) I ate that book in a matter of days - which for me is an accomplishment considering that the only time I take to read is on the bus. I've expanded my reading time for the weeknights now.

Continuing on my weeknight and bus ride reading extravaganza, I picked up the sixth book of Stephen King's Dark Tower Series: Song of Susannah. I'm about 130 pages into it and it is promising to be a great chapter in an already thrilling series. If you are a Stephen King fan, I don't have to tell you any more than this. And if you are a REAL Stephen King fan, you've already finished it. Don't tell me how it ends, I'm on a good pace.

On the slate are a couple more ADD books, including one on how an ADD person can keep better organized. That is competing with a book I've already purchased on the evils of TV entitled Four Arguments for the Elimination of Television. If it turns out to be a Christian idiocy book, I promise you I'll burn it. However from skimming it, I don't see that as the case. Then there are the two president autobiographies I want to read. Reagan's An American Life and Clinton's My Life. Clinton's book comes out on the 22nd. I think the two bios will have to wait and if I get on another government tear the pillars of society may crumble.

I have a lot of reading to do.

The downside is that the sales for a lot of good DVD's have been extraordinary. Plus I'm bored SHITLESS!!!

I have bought all but one of the Jack Ryan movies from The Hunt for Red October to Clear and Present Danger. The only one I haven't bought is the one with Ben Affleck and I'm in no rush. When Affleck learns to close his mouth while acting, I'll consider buying the movie.

The Simpson's 4th Season just came out and I'm drooling for it.

I've bought The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly on DVD (it was a bargain) along with John Wayne's The Quiet Man (another bargain). Buying movies is an art form. Buy only the good ones. Those two are classics.

I bought Love Actually. I know it's mush but I like a good English comedy.

The 1967 Animated Spider-man series just came out on DVD. That's a big piece of nostalgia for me and I'm dying to get it - but not too quick. I'm a GIGANTIC SPIDER-MAN FAN!!! (Hey, I'm a founder of the Marvel Universe Yahoo Club) Spider-man RULES!!! At the same time, I'm a realist and remember that Ralf Bakshi should be broiled in his own juices for using cheap animation gimmicks. I learned my lesson after purchasing Lord of the Rings (animated) and Wizards. After reevaluating Wizards years after I bought it on VHS, I hated it so much I left the tape on the ground in the middle of the living room for the dogs to chew up. They wouldn't have it. Who says dogs don't have good taste? Don't even get me started on Cool World.

I may wait a few months and try to get it off of Half.com.

What I really want to buy is the first season and pilot of Northern Exposure. Now that I'm reading more philosophy, I want to listen to Chris' radio narrations and see if there is any real insight to them.

Right now, though, I'm going through some serious TV withdrawral. It's a war at this point. I sit there in front of the television reading a book and it stares back at me without making a sound. The silence in the house is deafening. The TV with eternal patience pleads, "Please come back, I'll be good. I promise." Then in the same breath challenges me by saying,"You know you want it. You know you need me. All these DVD's are going to waste unwatched. Come on. Play me."

I coyly look back at the television and say, "One month. That's what I said, 'one month'. You have to live without me for that long. You better be worth my while because I have more books... and I'm starting to like em."

Progress Report - Day 23


* - Did you think I was ranting before this month long TV fast. My wife is the sole recipient of my anger and fury in our household. If I don't calm down soon, I'm certain some night she'll smother me with a pillow in my sleep.

 

 
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