"Don't make me sic my flying monkeys on you!"
- As Read On a T-Shirt

"And what also burns with witches?"
"MORE WITCHES!!"
- Monty Python's Holy Grail

"Watch what you say about us witches, for thou art mortal and crunchy in milk."
- Author Unknown (but quoted specifically to Vikar)

All Rightee then.

Well, this article marks an historic moment. This article is the official moment that my wife publicly comes out of the broom closet. She's written a couple of rants under the name of Ember Summerhawk, but now she's writing this one as herself on something she has dedicated a great deal of study to.

This is her life and it is her religion.

So, as my life is starting to look less and less like that of a business professional and more and more like something from the Bewitched sitcom, I present my wife's witch article.

(You do realize that this gives me a very green light to write a rant that I have been putting off - "Living With A Witch". Of course, me being the wiseass that I am, I colored her article in an appropriate color... green)

October 21st, 2002 (Updated October 28th, 2005)

Ah, October. The leaves are changing, the air is brisk, and the pumpkins are ripe for picking. Halloween can not be far away. It is the time when ghosts and goblins roam the earth and witches fly around on brooms…Well, about the last part. Witches do not only roam about on Halloween. *

I know; I am a Witch.

Let me begin by saying that Witchcraft is a constitutionally protected religion.

That means it is fully recognized under the Constitution of the United States of America, and is provided for in the Army Chaplains Handbook. The Witches’ religion is a very ancient one and the basis can be found in the background of most cultures, especially Celtic or Germanic. The beliefs and rituals are similar to those of many indigenous peoples, such as the Native Americans.

That being said let me clear up a major misconception regarding witches: We certainly do not worship Satan, the devil, or any demonic being. We do not believe in the devil. We believe that everyone should be responsible for their own actions.

Okay, so aside from not worshiping the devil and taking responsibility for ourselves, exactly what do we believe?

Well, I cannot speak for all Witches, but I can tell you what I (and many others) believe:

• I believe that there is a Great Spirit which has two polarities, male and female. Therefore, I believe in the existence of a Goddess as well as a God. As in Hinduism, this Great Spirit is unknowable, but as humans we imbibe it in a way to make sense to us. I believe that God, Goddess or Great Spirit turns up in a form that a particular person or culture can understand.
  
  
• I believe in walking a path of least harm, which means that I do not intentionally harm any living thing. Not a person, animal or even myself. I try as best as I can to consider my actions very carefully first.
  
  
• I believe that all life has an energy field about it. So, therefore I believe that, as Einstein once stated, that everything is connected, and therefore every action brings about a counteraction. This is the basis for magic. Our “spells” are actually interactive prayers. We send the necessary energy out into the Universe to give us an extra boost, and back it up by doing all we can physically. For example, If I get sick, I may light a healing candle, send healing energy out, and ask for the aid of the Goddess Bridghid but I will also take my medicine or see a doctor if necessary.
  
  
• The Goddess helps those who help themselves. Many of us wear a pentagram, the five pointed star in a circle. This symbol is horrifically misunderstood. In our religion it represents the four elements, Air, Water, Fire and Earth, united by Spirit. It has been maligned by those who wish to demonize Pagans. This type of desecration of a sacred symbol can also be seen in the Nazi’s theft of the Hindu Swastika.
  
  
• We do not always wear black. There are so many other wonderful colors, why should we limit ourselves? And we are not green. Witches come in every ethnicity, but none are green to the best of my knowledge. Men can be Witches as well as women, and they are not called Warlocks; that is an insulting term meaning “traitor”.
  

Now I will begin to explain why Witches have such a bad rap.

Historically, Witches were the healers and the midwives of the village. The local Witch was the Wise Woman that one would go to if they were to fall ill or had any number of problems. These women were a threat to the men of the new patriarchal society who were attempting to introduce their new religion, with their one, male God to the populace. Women were not to be a part of this new religious society in any place of power. Therefore, the Women healers needed to be dealt with, especially the older women who may own a coveted piece of property. Thus, the Burning Times. Anyone could be accused of “witchcraft” at any time.**

Our ancestors were accused of horrid things such as killing livestock, making cows go dry and killing people through “evil and unnatural” means (i.e. appearing only as a shadow). The leaders of the new religion claimed that they were doing God’s work, but they were only out for their own gain. Once that troublesome old widow was burned at the stake, her property was up for grabs, or even better, went to the church.

In addition to burning witches at the stake, cats were murdered by the millions, almost to extinction. These people believed that cats were evil demons that served witches at the devil’s request. As a result, the rat population flourished and, you guessed it, so did the Bubonic Plague. Oops.

Witches then began to practice in secret. Ordinary household items became their tools, such as a broom to be used to direct energy. (And no, of course we do not ride them! This notion may have come about for several reasons; one being that a common crop fertility rite was to leap about the field with a broom.). This way, they tried to avoid detection. Unfortunately, the stigma remained long after the last victim was burned at the stake.

Although some believe that Witchcraft in its present form is centuries old, there is no basis for that belief.*** As described above, there were indeed Wise Women, Druids and Shamans but whatever their rituals, they probably held very little similarity to what is practiced today.

In 1951, the last of the anti-Witchcraft laws were repealed in Britain, and a man by the name of Gerald Gardner brought it to the mainstream. His brand of the craft, Wicca, now has many different traditions and is one of the fastest growing religions in America.

I truly hope that I have cleared up some misunderstandings, and shed light upon a religion based on love and good will.

We do not wish any ill will toward people of other religions, and ask only to be able to practice ours without fear. We ask that people not try to convert or “save” us; it isn’t fair. Witches will never try to convert someone to Witchcraft, and ask only the same courtesy.

Religion is such a personal choice, and there is room enough for all. It should be something that makes us a better person and offers comfort in times of upheaval or pain.

Now, perhaps when you see that green skinned, ugly old Witch this Halloween, maybe you’ll see her in a different light. And, give that little Witch that comes knocking on your door a little extra candy. She’s earned it!

Happy Halloween everyone!

* - To witches, Halloween is called Samhaim. For more on this, see my Samhaim rant.

** - The amount of people (mostly women) murdered is not certain, but most believe it was probably several hundred thousand, although the legend persists that it was actually nine million.

*** - Witchcraft and Wicca are not the same. Wicca is a more organized and ritualistic form of Witchcraft. Most Witches are solitary and have more simplified ways of honouring Deities. Just as not all Pagans are Witches, not all Witches are Wiccans. This can get confusing, but think of it this way: Zen Buddhism and Tibetan Buddhism are both forms of Buddhism, but are not interchangeable. The core beliefs are the same but the way they go about it is different. There are several great web sites out there which can help clear this up. One is witchvox.com. Another is Beliefnet.com.