Scrawled On the Bathroom Wall.
- Friends don't let friends take home ugly men. ---Women's
restroom, Starboard, Dewey Beach, DE
- Remember, it's not, "How high are you?" it's "Hi,
how are you?" ---Rest stop off Route 81, West Virginia
- No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick and
tired of putting up with her shit. ---Men's Room, Linda's
Bar and Grill, Chapel Hill, NC
- Don't trust anything that bleeds for 5 days and doesn't
die. ---Men's restroom, Murphy's, Champaign, IL
- Make love, not war. Hell, do both, get married! ---Women's
restroom, Gas Station, Bozeman, Montana
- A Woman's Rule of Thumb: If it has tires or testicles, you're
going to have trouble with it. ---Women's restroom, Dick's
Last Resort, Dallas, TX
- Watch out for Gay Limbo Dancers ---Inside toilet stall door,
Men's restroom
- Express Lane: Five beers or less ---Sign over urinals, Ed
Debevic's, Beverly Hills, CA
- You're too good for him. ---Sign over mirror in Women's
restroom, Ed Debevic's
- No wonder you always go home alone. ---Sign over mirror
in Men's restroom, Ed Debevic's
- The best way to a man's heart is to saw his breast plate
open. ---Women's restroom, Murphy's, Champaign, IL
- If you voted for Clinton in the last election, you can't
take a dump here. Your asshole is in D.C ---Men's room Outback
Steakhouse, Tacoma, WA
- Beauty is only a light switch away. ---Perkins Library,
Duke University, Durham, NC
- I've decided that to raise my grades I must lower my standards.
---Houghton Library, Harvard University, Cambridge, MA.
- If life is a waste of time, and time is a waste of life,
then let's all get wasted together, and have the time of our
lives. ---Armand's Pizza, Washington, D.C.
- God made pot. Man made beer. Who do you trust? ---The Irish
Times, Washington, D.C.
- It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.
---Written in the dust on the back of a bus, Wickenburg, AZ
- If voting could really change things, it would be illegal.
---Revolution Books, New York, New York
- What are you looking up on the wall for? The Joke is in
your hands. ---Men's restroom, Lynagh's, Lexington, KY
- Travel is very educational. I can now say Kaopectate in
seven different languages.
- Home is where you can say anything you like cause nobody
listens to you anyway.
- Isn't having a smoking section in a restaurant like having
a peeing section in a swimming pool?
- I don't approve of political jokes ...I've seen too many
of them get elected.
- I have learned there is little difference in husbands/wives;
you might as well keep the first.
- There are two sides to every divorce: Yours and The Jerk's.
- If life deals you lemons, make lemonade; if it deals you
tomatoes, make Bloody Marys.
- How come we choose from just two people for president and
50 for Miss America?
- The next time you feel like complaining, remember: Your
garbage disposal probably eats better than thirty percent
of the people in this world.
- Snowmen fall from Heaven unassembled.
- Every time I walk into a singles bar, I can hear Mom's wise
words: "Don't pick that up, you don't know where its
been"
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