Simple Guidelines
For thousands of years, men have tried to understand the rules
when dealing with women. finally, this merit/demerit guide will
help you to understand just how it works. Remember, in the world
of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy.
Do something she likes, and you get points. Do something she
dislikes and points are deducted. You don't get any points for
doing something she expects. Sory, that's the way the game is
played.
Here is a guide to the system:
SIMPLE DUTIES:
| You make the bed. |
+1 |
| You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative
pillows. |
+0 |
| You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets. |
-1 |
| You leave the toilet seat up. |
-5
|
| You replace the toilet paper roll when it
is empty |
+0 |
| Whe the toilet paper roll is barren, you resort
to Kleenex |
-1 |
| When the Kleenex runs out, you use the next
bathroom. |
-2 |
| You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners
with wings |
+5 |
| ....in the snow. |
+8 |
| ....but return with beer. |
-5 |
| ....and no liners. |
-25 |
| You check out a suspicious noise at night. |
+0 |
| You check out a suspicious noise at night
and it is nothing. |
+0 |
| You check out a suspicious noise at night
and it is something. |
+5 |
| You pummel it with a six iron. |
+10 |
| It's her cat. |
-40 |
AT THE PARTY:
| You stay by her side the entire party. |
+0 |
| You stay by her side for a while, then leave
to chat with a college drinking buddy. |
-2 |
| .....named Tiffany. |
-4 |
| .....Tiffany is a lap dancer. |
-10
|
| .....with breast implants. |
-18 |
HER BIRTHDAY:
| You remember her birthday. |
+0 |
| You buy a card and flowers. |
+0 |
| You take her out to dinner. |
+0 |
| You take her out to dinner, and it's not a
sports bar |
+1
|
| Okay, it's a sports bar. |
-2 |
| .....And it's all you can eat night. |
-3 |
| .....It's a sports bar, it's all you can eat
night, and your face is painted in the colors of your favorite
team. |
-10 |
A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS:
| Go with a pal. |
+0 |
| Go with a pal that is happily married. |
+1 |
| Go with a pal that is single. |
-7 |
| He drives a Ferrari. |
-10
|
| .....with a personalized license plate (GR8
NBED) |
-15 |
A NIGHT OUT WITH HER:
| You take her to a movie. |
+2 |
| You take her to a movie that she likes. |
+4 |
| You take her to a movie that you hate. |
+6 |
| You take her to a movie that you like. |
-2
|
| .....It's called Death Cop 3. |
-3 |
| .....Which features Cyborgs that eat humans. |
-9 |
| You lied and said it was a foriegn film about
orphans. |
-15 |
YOUR PHYSIQUE:
| You develop a noticable belly. |
-15 |
| You develop a noticable belly and you exercise
to get rid of it. |
+10 |
| You develop a noticable pot belly and resort
to loose jeans and baggy Hawiian shirts. |
-30 |
| You say, "It doesn't matter, you have
one too." |
-800
|
THE BIG QUESTION: She asks, "Does this make me look
fat?"
| You hesitate in answering. |
-10 |
| You reply, "Where?" |
-35 |
| You reply, "No, I think it's your ass." |
-100 |
| Any other response. |
-20
|
COMMUNICATION: WHEN SHE WANTS TO TALK ABOUT A PROBLEM...
| You listen, displaying a concerned expression. |
+0 |
| You listen, for over 30 minutes. |
+5 |
| You relate to her problem and share a similar
experience. |
+50 |
| Your mind wanders to sports and you suddenly
hear her saying, "Well, what do you think I should
do?" |
-50
|
| You listen for more than 30 minutes without
looking at a TV. |
+100 |
| She realizes this is because you have fallen
asleep. |
-200 |
|
