Job Opening for Apprentice Sith Lord
Position Available Immediately: Apprentice Sith Lord, Dark
Side Consulting Group
An unexpected position has opened up in the Dark Side Consulting
Group for an Apprentice Sith Lord. The ideal candidate for this
position would like galactic travel and possess a complete understanding
of and competence with the Force, or demonstrate a willingness
to learn.
Duties include: Performing competitive intelligence, hands-on
intervention in support of the Sith Master's planning initiatives,
ability to travel the galaxy widely, and operating a variety
of laser-powered hand weapons and high-powered space/air vehicles.
Some slaying of enemies of the Dark Side is also required, which
may be performed using the Force or hand weapons.
Qualified applicants would possess good communications skills
(especially when speaking in menacing whispers), and would be
action-oriented individuals and risk takers. A background in
study of the Force (light side or dark) is desirable, as would
typically be acquired by those with advanced degrees or significant
course work in Jedi Arts from the University of Coruscant. Applicants
should also be familiar with holographic projection equipment,
possess a valid galactic pilot's license (for all classes of
ships), and must show a willingness to give in to their hate.
A proven track record of using fear and/or Jedi mind tricks
to control others is also desirable, as is the ability to speak
several galactic languages.
Ideal candidates for this position would also have no children
or other living relatives who are strong in the ways of the
Force. (A new hire would be given several weeks to meet this
requirement.)
Compensation for this position is commensurate with experience,
and is extremely competitive for this field. Benefits include
a generous severance package, a company starship, and a dark-colored
clothing allowance.
The Apprentice Sith Lord reports to and works closely with
the Sith Master, and experience in such small, team-based organizations
is vital to the success of the master's plans. Discretion is
also highly valued, as is the ability to see the future before
it happens.
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