Speaking The Plain Truth
Vinnie the mobster was one of the most feared men in the city.
One of the reasons he was feared so much was that while in
his youth, coming up through the ranks, he had managed to anger one of the
local crimelords. As punishment, the crimelord had both of Vinnie's
ears cut off. He became mean and feared because of this mutilation.
Vinnie rose through the ranks of the mob and eventually became
Godfather. The day after he was promoted to Godfather, Vinnie
decided to flex his mob muscles a bit and called in his chief
enforcer, Guido. Vinnie asked Guido, "Guido, you have been
very loyal to me. Tell me my friend, what is the first thing
you notice about me?"
Guido, innocently replied, "That's easy, boss. You've
got no f#%king ears."
Vinnie was furious that someone would blatantly insult him
like this. He screamed at Guido, "GET OUT! YOU'RE DEAD!!"
Guido fled from his boss's office in terror.
Vinnie next called for Luigi. After telling him he now had
a contract on Guido, he asked him the same question, "Luigi,
you have been very loyal to me. Tell me my friend, what is the
first thing you notice about me?"
Luigi, also replied "Well, boss, you've got no f#%king
ears."
Vinnie, furious, screamed at Luigi, "GET OUT! YOU ARE
DEAD! YOU ARE F#%KING DEAD!!!" He then called for Mario,
his third cappo.
On his way into the office Luigi stops him and says, "Listen
Mario, the boss is in a mood. Whatever you do, don't mention
anything about his ears." Mario thought it was a good idea
and went in to see Vinnie.
Vinnie now told Mario that he had two contracts to fill. He
then asked Mario, "Mario, you have been very loyal to me.
Tell me my friend, what is the first thing you notice about
me?"
Mario, heeding Luigi's advice, said, "I notice you are
wearing contact lenses."
Vinnie was astounded. Vinnie asked, "You must have really
good eyes, how did you notice that?"
"Well, they had to be contact lenses. How can you wear
glasses with no f#%king ears?"
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